Sunday, September 18, 2005

Unmistakably Uncool (Part 3): My Blog

We have already established that I am not cool. I would just like to hash out the myriad uncool things about my blog - for two reasons. 1) because they may offer some insight into me, and 2) because this may help me flesh out some changes I am considering.

Allow me to list the uncool aspects of my blog (in no particular order.)

1. Improper use of the asterisk.
-Apparently, the cool method for emphasizing words in the blogosphere is to highlight them with asterisks. For example: Does anyone really *read* this blog? I, on the other hand, am still doing what *someone* has decided is the equivalent of *yelling,* by using all caps. Did you hear me? I said ALL CAPS!

***so*** rude.

-I am also aware of some protocol which makes use of the asterisk to mask the names of companies. For example: I buy baby wipes at Tar*get. I don't know why people do this, (using the asterisk I mean, not buying the wipes. Cuz I actually DO buy wipes from Target.)

2. Improper use of the period.
-None of the cool bloggers use the period like I do.... I don't know why. I don't even really know what it means when I do that. But I do it a lot..... If I wanted to be cool I would stop. doing. that.

3. Low picture volume.
-cool bloggers have a picture with just about every post that is related to the theme of the post. Me, on the other hand, I can't get my scanner to work, so that rules out personal pictures. And my computer is so. ridiculously. slow. (I know, I'm such a poser.) So that rules out me sitting and browsing through all the public photos on flick*r.com and finding one that is applicable. (And we don't own a digital camera, which in itself is uncool.... so I am just proving my own point.... in more ways than one.)

4. Lack of comments.
- Some blogs I read have 36 comments on every post. To get 36 comments on any given post, I think I'd have to bribe each of my readers to leave a comment... 9 times. This comment shortage is probably the result of the next 2 uncool characteristics...

5. Lack of a consistent theme.
-One day I am writing about adopting. The next day I am writing about eating chicken. The next day, I am asking people if they prefer writing with black ink or blue. Weird, maybe. But not cool.

6. Lack of groupies.
-(I'll bet there is a word for "groupie" in the blogosphere, but I don't know what it is.) I am the first to admit that I don't read a blog long if it's just about "whatever," especially if the "whatever" isn't particularly thought-provoking. I'm guessing that the thoughts of most people who happen by this blog are not generally provoked. This is because: a) reading about how cute my son is doesn't really get people's minds moving or b) people who link to me from one of my comments at an adoption blog, or a Christian life blog (for examples,) have found that I don't post much new or consistent material regarding topics of their interest.
-This lack of groupies also means that I can't compile a list of links to the fifty or so blog buddies who all read each others' blogs. All cool blogs have a list of fifty or so blog buddies who all read each others' blogs... and leave comments, by the way.

7. Lack of links.
-Let's face it, linking to a picture of a sweatshirt I want isn't exactly a reader's delight.
-And I don't have links to cool stuff in the margins, either... though I am thinking of changing my template to allow for this.

So all of this has me thinking...

Should I add links? Perhaps. A link to the PEZ website would definitely be cool. (Right?)

Should I begin shamelessly plugging my blog? A good thought. Maybe I could even offer a reward to those who leave a comment... just like a coupon... they can redeem it for 1/100 cent!

Should I get a theme? I got it, MY LIFE. Oh, I mean *My life*

Should I stop buying wipes at Target? *Absolutely.* They are MUCH cheaper at Tar*get.

Labels:

37 Comments:

Anonymous mom said...

in re #comments: quality not, quantity. And I think your blog is very thought-provoking; so much so that, many times, people refrain from commenting because they can't match the quality of your blog entry.
And no; this is not a biased opinion!

Mon Sep 19, 01:54:00 AM  
Blogger yomama said...

lori,

i think you have groupies. you're so hot and you don't even know it. to quote swingers...

there are dignified ways of plugging your blog. namely commenting on other's blogs.

i think you should have links. they rock the world.

if it's any consolation- i think you're cool. blog and all.

love,
maureen

Mon Sep 19, 12:35:00 PM  
Blogger Addie said...

This post had me laughing all the way through! You have a great sense of humor so you must be pretty cool. I'm one of those people that puts pictures in all my posts but it's more so I don't have to write as much. You know how when you have to write a Thank you note and you don't have very much to say so you try to write really big? That's what I use pictures for. Not very cool, just lazy! :) I've enjoyed reading your blog, but if you start offering money, I'll comment more!

Thu Sep 22, 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger stilhoping12 said...

Wow, I must not be cool either. I fall under the majority of your uncool rules. I especially use the periods in the middle of sentences.

I have to say though, I pride myself on being perpetually uncool. It works for me.

I'm going back and reading some of your old entries and I think the lack of theme makes it more interesting. Just my opinion.

Mon Sep 26, 07:09:00 PM  
Anonymous janna said...

I think there are more non-cool bloggers out there than you think. Mine definitely doesn't fall into the cool category. I rarely get comments, even though in a way I do have a central theme. I like the "comment coupons" idea! :) But maybe if I could figure out a way to add pictures........ :)

Keep writing!

Fri Sep 30, 02:47:00 PM  
Blogger theresa said...

Great post Lori...I'm enjoying your old entry *linkage* SO I THOUGHT...

Thu Dec 07, 01:02:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

I WOULD...

Thu Dec 07, 01:02:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

DO SOMETHING...

Thu Dec 07, 01:02:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

UNCOOL...

Thu Dec 07, 01:02:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

TO JACK UP...

Thu Dec 07, 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

THE COMMENT...

Thu Dec 07, 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

COUNTER...

Thu Dec 07, 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

JUST SO I...

Thu Dec 07, 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

COULD SAY...

Thu Dec 07, 01:04:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

THAT YOU...

Thu Dec 07, 01:04:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

WILL GET LOTS...

Thu Dec 07, 01:04:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

OF COMMENTS...

Thu Dec 07, 01:04:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

BLOG!

Thu Dec 07, 01:05:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

SHOOT BLOGGER MESSED IT UP...

Thu Dec 07, 01:06:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

I WAS TRYING...

Thu Dec 07, 01:06:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

TO GET TO...

Thu Dec 07, 01:07:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

35 COMMENTS...

Thu Dec 07, 01:07:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

BUT NOW...

Thu Dec 07, 01:07:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

FRANKLY...

Thu Dec 07, 01:07:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

I'M TIRED OF...

Thu Dec 07, 01:08:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

WORD VERIFICATION!!!

Thu Dec 07, 01:08:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

AT LEAST WE GOT CLOSE...

Thu Dec 07, 01:08:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

LOL!!

Thu Dec 07, 01:09:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

NOW I'M...

Thu Dec 07, 01:09:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

UNCOOL...

Thu Dec 07, 01:09:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

LUV YA SWEETIE! :)

Thu Dec 07, 01:10:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

WAIT...

Thu Dec 07, 01:10:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

WE ONLY HAVE...

Thu Dec 07, 01:10:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

TWO TO...

Thu Dec 07, 01:11:00 AM  
Blogger theresa said...

GO...

Thu Dec 07, 01:11:00 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

How did I miss this post? And what TLo did? HA HA! Glad you added it to your faves.

Wed Dec 13, 01:22:00 PM  
Blogger Luisa Perkins said...

You are LUCKY....to have a. Friend. Like. Theresa. That was the best series of comments ever.

Wed Mar 07, 09:55:00 PM  

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