Reuniting Stolen Apostrophes with Their Rightful Owners One Blog Post at a Time

This is a STOLEN apostrophe:

Thanks to my diligent detective work, the apostrophe can now be returned to its rightful word:I'm tearing up just thinking about it...

Cognitively Speaking

When I was teaching Chem II at my last place of employment, I had one of my "teacher moments" as I was walking my students through a particular lab analysis. It was a titration in which they had to determine the amount of vitamin C in several different kinds of juice.

I wish I could describe this particular class to you. I am not kidding when I say that almost every lesson was directed by their questions. I'd give an assignment, they'd do it - or at least attempt it - then they'd come in the next day and ask questions about whatever they didn't understand. The ability to identify what you do not understand and to formulate the appropriate question is, in my opinion, a mark of intelligence. It might be fair to say that a handful of the twenty students were asking most of the questions, but in simply addressing their questions, the entire group always seemed to stumble upon an understanding of the larger concepts. The big picture. I found that I loved this kind of student-driven learning because it seemed so much more effective than delivering a lecture that addressed what I thought was important.

They were at it again on this particular day of lab analysis. As part of their lab assignment, I asked them to make a simple statement about how the volume of the titrant was related to the amount of vitamin C in the sample. This kind of terminology was familiar to them. We'd spent considerable time the previous year studying the "relatedness" of pressure, temperature, and volume in a gas (the gas laws.)

They easily determined from their data that the titrant and vitamin C concentration were directly related. (In other words, the more titrant they had to use, the more vitamin C was in the sample.)

Then I asked them to write the mathematical formula that described the relationship between the two variables.

Panic.

"I've never heard of a formula for that?"

"Where do we find that formula?"

"No, no, no!" said I. "This formula doesn't exist. You need to figure one out!"

Jaws dropping. Brows furrowing. Eyes widening.

"How do we do that?"

"Well, how are they related?"

"Directly."

"Then write a formula for two variables that are directly related."

"HOW?"

"Think about it. Have you ever heard of other variables that were directly related?"

"Yeah. What was that gas law? Was it pressure divided by temperature, or was it pressure multiplied by temperature?"

"I can't remember a formula from that long ago!"

"Then don't. Why don't you just try something and SEE IF IT ACTUALLY DESCRIBES YOUR DATA."

So they tried one. It didn't work. Then they switched it around and - IT WORKED.

"So we can just MAKE UP a formula?"

"Well, no. You can't just make one up out of thin air. But did you find one that describes your data?"

"Yes."

"Then that's your formula."

This is where I launched into a mini lecture about how every mathematical formula in the history of mankind didn't exist until someone MADE IT UP. And why did they make it up? Because it WORKED to describe their data.

It was like little lightbulbs going off all over the room. "OOOhhh!"
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I love this story because it was one of few times where I think I witnessed some kids "getting it." What I hate about this story is that they were juniors and seniors in high school and they were only just coming to this realization: math is a tool.

Someone invented algebra. And trigonometry. And calculus. And differential equations. They invented them because they needed a way to describe the things they were observing in the natural world: People made up math because it helped them describe something.

Math is never solving the quadratic equation 20 times just to see what the answer is. NO! The answer has meaning. Without meaning, there is no reason to do the math in the first place. Teaching math without meaning is one of my biggest complaints about education today. Math in most schools is taught in isolation. The answers have no meaning. This kind of approach to math education results in kids who don't know how to use math. They don't realize they are the master of it. They think the math tells THEM what to do, when in fact real math is the exact opposite!

Most schools are turning out kids who can solve the quadratic equation when you tell them: Solve this problem using the quadratic equation. What is the point of this? (Just out of curiosity, does anyone know someone who sits around solving quadratic equation problems just to see what the answer is? No one does this! The idea is preposterous!) The problem with this is that the natural world never tells you what math to use. It's content to sit around and do its thing. The job of describing the "thing" falls on us, and it requires that we know how to use the tool of math to make accurate description.

My desire is to approach math education a little bit more wholistically. Ms. Boo is currently working through a part of her math curriculum that covers measurement. Part of her lessons the last two days has been to identify the instrument that would be used to measure certain things. (She can chose from ruler, thermometer, measuring cup, or scale.)

So, it bugged me a bit when the book showed her a picture of a bag of flour and gave a scale and a measuring cup as choices. Another example showed a pitcher of water and gave measuring cup and ruler as options. (The implication is that only one of the choices is "correct.")

Is it totally inconceivable that someone would want to measure the weight of flour? People often do this in their own kitchens because it is more accurate than using a measuring cup. Is it unheard of to measure the height of water? Uh, rain guage, anyone?

This kind of "detached" math, where you don't have a reason for answering the question is just another example of teaching math in isolation. Instead of asking "what do I need to know about the flour to solve this problem" we are simply making an exercise of it.

Here is where I will stop, because I have no pretty ending to this rant. Ms. Boo's lessons have brought these thoughts right back to the forefront of my mind. The difference is that now I am in a position where I can do something about it.

If you don't like Attitude, don't read this.

I am sending you some mail.

Forwarding it, actually.

Why?

Well, because I have your address. And I can.

But don't worry. I know you will LOVE it. I just know you will.

Here is a glimpse of what you might get:

Oh, you don't have kids? That's okay. I don't care. There are some REALLY CUTE pictures in here. No one should miss out.
















Here, here's one we really like at our house:

I know you're single, but you're on my address list, and I can't really be bothered to take you out of the loop. This is a mass mailing, you know, and I don't have time for that.

How about this one?
It's one of our favorites. I know some of you aren't Christians, but we love this one so much, how could I possibly keep it from you?

And let's not forget these:

You will be getting a LOT of those, my friend. I know you could find these offers for yourself, but I want to send it to you. I wouldn't want you to miss out.

Oh, wait, you've GOT to see this one. This is one you are SURE to like, even if you don't find the others interesting.

You have never actually TOLD me you like quilting, but if you are ANYTHING like me, I just know you do. I just KNOW it.

Oh, oh, OH! And what home would be complete without THIS?

Trust me, you'll actually be THANKING me for this one... not that I am ever going to ask you what you think about all this mail, mind you.

Before you ask who else might be getting all of this mail, let me assure you that I have that covered. I am planning on sending a copy of my mailing list with every piece I send you. That way you'll know everyone who has been blessed with the same mail, and you can even contact them if you want. Of course, this makes it so easy for YOU if you want to forward the mail after you have finished enjoying it. Because then all you have to do is add your mailing list to mine. Soon, if enough people keep forwarding the mail (though I prefer to call it "sharing the joy") everyone on the planet will know who got this piece of mail! Isn't that fantastic? Kinda makes us feel like one big, happy family doesn't it... all without EVER asking our recipients, "how are you?" or "what's going on in your life?" (or having to listen to their answers. Gaaah!)

I can't imagine why you would, but if you ask me to stop forwarding this stuff, I'll simply tell you "if you don't want it, you can just throw it out," and act like you are being ungrateful and rude.

I mean, you GAVE me your address, for goodness sake.

Just don't tell Heather, okay? (She's one of those overly sensitive types.)

Let me break this down for you

I just need to get this off my chest.

What follows is the text of an e-mail that I have received twice now. It is the type that I normally delete without even reading, but I thought I might open this one just to prove a point. (My commentary appears in red.)

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And, please let me know the exact time you read this. It is mystical--honest (mystical, eh? so are unicorns. But I'm sure you meant "mystical" in the you-can-trust-it sort of way.)

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked:My child, what is your greatest wish for today? (Why on earth would anyone need to open a window in order to see something? That's just stupid. But even so, the Lord isn't hindered from seeing us at any time. If you don't believe me, please see Job 31:4, or Psalm 139:7-12)

I responded:"Lord please; take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends.They deserve it and I love them very much" (Really? Seriously? That was your GREATEST wish for today? Well, I am flattered. But I don't believe you. Here's why... because these e-mails are the only communication we have with each other. And, I'm thinking that if you really wanted me to be taken care of, you would, maybe come over and hang out with me when I am losing my sanity. Or help with the laundry. Or maybe just call and ask if there was anything I needed. And it's not about deserving it. I don't. I'm just saying that if you really love me that much, you could find a better way to show it than by forwarding an e-mail that someone else wrote.)

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but Not its end. (That's very poetic, but what, exactly, does this mean? I can't see the beginning or the end of anything that is infinite.)

This message works on the day you receive it. (Works? I'm confused. Is the message going to do the laundry for me? And, I don't know who is going to do the work, but I know that God's timetable isn't like ours, so I don't know how you can guarantee this.)

To some it may sound dumb, (yes) but the person who sent this to me was impressed with its timing. (So?) Let us see if it is true. (What, see if WHAT is true? Dude, you need to take another writing class, cuz you are all over the place, here.) ANGELS EXIST, but sometimes, since they don't all have wings we call them FRIENDS, SUCH AS YOU. (Okay, you need a course in angelology too. Yes, angels DO exist. But I'M NOT ONE OF THEM!)

Pass this on to your true friends. (I am flattered to be considered your friend. But, let me give you a heads up on what is NOT cool to do to your friends. Adding their e-mail address to something that will soon be forwarded to a bunch of strangers is, um, not so nice. But, I suppose I could be wrong here, so I'll make you a deal: You forward my e-mail address to strangers, and I will go write your phone number on a couple hundred public bathroom stalls. That sounds like a fair deal, now doesn't it?)

SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY AT 11:11 IN THE EVENING. (Yeah, that would be SLEEPING, for most people.) SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR.THIS IS NOT A JOKE; (Oh, I'm not laughing.) SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU BY PHONE OR WILL SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE WAITING TO HEAR. (And if they don't?) DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN. (And, if I do?) SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF 4 PEOPLE. (Um. No.)

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My point: pseudo-religious garbage is neither encouraging, nor biblically sound. If you are a Christian, I implore you not to send this garbage to people. If you want to let them know you love them, then go DO it.

Disconnected

I got invited to a Pampered Chef show tonight. I don't have anything against Pampered Chef, but I don't buy anything anymore. The only time I go to a show is if the hostess says, "you don't have to buy anything, just come to hang out." So, I went to hang out.

I need to stop doing this. There aren't many times I feel more disconnected from people than when I am at a home show.

To be clear, I own several Pampered Chef items. Some are lovely, and some are junk. But, there is nothing else that I need from Pampered Chef. And the thing is, there isn't even anything that I want.

So the question the consultant asked EVERY PERSON this evening was: "If money was no object, what item would you want from the catalog?" I hated the question, because the honest answer is "nothing." I really and truly don't want anything from the Pampered Chef catalog.

I just don't fit.

It seemed like everyone wanted something. At the Pampered Chef show it was pottery to match the rug they just bought. At the Longaberger show it was a $70 basket to hide their tissue box in. At the Stampin Up show it was the spider stamp - sold only as part of a set. A spider stamp... so they could decorate Halloween candy holders for all their kids' classmates.

Lots of folks out there will say that there is nothing wrong with having nice things if you can afford them. But my immediate response is, there's nothing wrong with not having them either. It seems like the prevailing wisdom is "if you can afford it, there's no reason not to." But in Christian circles, it is disappointing to run into that kind of thinking over and over again.

I can honestly say that I have little desire for many of the things that everyone around me seems so hungry to get. And maybe this is a function of our financial state at this time. I'm a stay-at-home mom whose husband teaches for a living. We didn't clear $50,000 last year. And we really lacked for nothing. We are amazingly blessed. We have everything we need... and a whole lot that we don't. Yet we don't have a "nice" stereo system. We have a kitchen floor that is curling up in the corners. Our screen doors should have been replaced last year. Our TV is small compared to most. We don't have cable. We don't have leather furniture. We don't wear designer clothes. Our van is growing increasingly rusty. Two of our kids share a bedroom (I know... that's, like, child abuse, I think.)

And these are all fine with me. Comparatively speaking, I have way more than 98% of the world's population... WAY more. I sleep in a warm house every night (in the winter that is...it's cool in the summer.) I have multiple outfits that I can choose to wear every day... if I can keep them all clean... in my washer that has a supply of clean water whenever I want it, and hot water at that. I use my microwave several times a day to make myself a cup of tea. I can drive wherever I want, whenever I want. I have a college degree and would be reasonably assured of finding a decent job should my husband ever lose his. We have health insurance that enables us to have medicine when we need it for a very fair price. I plant flowers in my yard every year just for fun. I have photos of my kids to document all the stages of their lives. I own a gadget that is used once a year (Christmas time) for the express purpose of squirting out fancy cookie shapes. I have no less than 10 Bibles in my house and could go buy another one tomorrow if I so desired. My children have toys all over our house. I have a stove to cook dinner on and a refrigerator to keep my leftovers in. I type into a computer so I can express myself on a blog, just for fun. My kids eat protein every day.

And I am supposed to get to a point in my life where, if money were no object, I would actually want more stuff I don't need simply because money was no object?

I say all of this because I just wanted to scream tonight. I just wanted to scream. The message was "wanting more stuff is okay if you have money." And the reality, for me, is that if I had more money, I would likely find ways to spend it on nicer stuff for me. The reality is that I judge people too much: pointing my finger at others and saying "you have too much stuff." But I tend to forget the reality that most of the rest of the world could point to me and say the same thing.

It's just that I don't want to forget that last bit of reality. And I don't want more stuff.

And going to parties like that doesn't help.