Thursday, February 16, 2006


Part 1

Tonight was a big night. We got the whole fam dressed up in coordinating outfits and schlepped to the mall for our biannual family portrait.

My preparations for the photo shoot included some of the everyday things, like getting the kids' clothes ready. Then it also included some highly unusual things, like putting makeup on myself and even (HORRORS!) putting "product" in my hair.

Now, I don't normally wear makeup because:
a) it is a total waste of time - if it has to be touched up in two hours, I'm not bothering with it.
b) I know enough chemistry to know that I don't want that stuff on my body, seeping into my skin all day long.
c) I am far too cheap to spend $7.95 on one tube of lipstick.

But, I wore the makeup because I think it makes for a much better photo.

However, the "product" - well, even I can't figure that out.

Over the last five years, my goal in every haircut and every attempt at styling has been getting my hair to do that cute flip on the ends. The actual outcome is always the same. It is something akin to the Betty Crocker look.

But, I tried it anyway. Maybe this time it will work I'm thinking.


At the end of our photo shoot the photographer kindly offered to insert a short line of text under each photo.

It reads, "The role of Mom is being played by Betty Crocker."

So the only benefit to having "product" in my hair was that it smelled good for the family photo.

Unfortunately, for me, the portrait options at JCPenney do not include scratch 'n sniff.

Part 2

Every time I use "product" in my hair, my mind automatically starts contemplating how ridiculous I think it is to call it "product."

Whenever you tell a hair stylist that you have a specific problem with your hair, they inevitably say something like "I have a product that will work for that."

Not, "let me get you some shampoo." Not, "here's some gel that will work great." It is always "product."

Yes, I know you have PRODUCT, I can SEE that you SELL things!

It's like walking into a hardware store, asking the clerk how you can fix the hole in your drywall, and having him say "you need product." Would you not look at him a little funny and think "yes, but which one, Einstein?"

Why do they all do this? I get my hair washed, cut, and styled and they never refer to any of these as "service." So, why do they call all the goop "product" EVEN WHEN THEY ARE REFERRING TO SOMETHING SPECIFIC?

And just as a little bonus question, I'd like to know why all hairstylists talk to me WHILE THEY ARE RINSING MY HAIR! I know they are talking because I can see their lips moving. But do they NOT know that when someone's head is hanging inside a big basin and there is water running all over the place that all they can hear is

Do they teach that at beauty school?

Enough, enough!

I am done with this



Blogger Heather said...

I knew when you started talking about coordinating outfits that this post was going to be a good one! I hate picture day. It doesn't matter if I'm in the picture or not.

However, we are polar opposites on the rest of the post... I would never THINK of leaving the house without make-up. And I even wear it when I know I'm not going anywhere. Why? Because I love it and it makes me feel good. It makes me giddy just thinking about makeup...

And $7.95 for lipstick? I really did LOL. I spend three times that. Not because of the "name" but because I like the way it feels on my lips, the color, and it doesn't have a nasty taste. :)

Ah, makeup... it makes me want to sing with joy. Thank GOD he knew to make me a girl!

As for hair product I like that too. He he.

I bet you don't like pink either?

To infinity and beyond!

Fri Feb 17, 02:51:00 AM  
Anonymous Cup-a-Joe said...

Strange, when one of my students talks about "moving some product" he or she is not referring to hair care...

Family picture day: I have visions of Calvin's school picture from Calvin & Hobbes...

Come on Pez, wake up to make up.

Fri Feb 17, 07:28:00 AM  
Blogger Addie said...

OK Pez don't go any farther with the Chemistry of make-up. I'm all for you using your blog to discuss things outside of motherhood, but please don't give us the science of make-up. I want to remain blissfully unaware of what I'm putting on my face.

It's like those people that, when you tell them the name of your favorite restaraunt, they say "Oh yeah, I worked there. They had a rat infestation problem." I just don't want to know that!!!

I'm probably in between you and Heather on make-up. I wear it out in public because I like the way it makes me look. But I rarely wear it when I'm staying at home.

Did you know that your husband can buy some product that will make his clean hair look dirty? It's very fashionable to have dirty looking hair. I guess it's the frat boy look without the smell. :P

Fri Feb 17, 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger PEZmama said...

If my husband buys that product, I will most certainly LOL.

My husband, for all intents and purposes, doesn't have hair!

Fri Feb 17, 12:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only "product" I use on my 'hair' is Mop N Glow--for that nice 'clean' shine!! Dirty won't do for me.

Fri Feb 17, 01:22:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

My husband is bald too. And the tiny hairs that do manage to pop out of his head catch lint.

Fri Feb 17, 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger Addie said...

Hee Hee!

Sat Feb 18, 02:29:00 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

I can't believe I didn't have you on my blogroll! I do now. Anyway, I feel like makeup is a necessary evil. I don't wear it unless I am going to church or going out-like with friends or on a date with my husband-not "out" as in to Wally World with my kiddos in tow. Same with the hair. It's in a pony tail most of the time. It's really better for the condition of your hair not to blow dry it and curl/flat iron it every day. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) My hairdresser says not to even wash it every day, but that grosses me out.

Sat Mar 04, 01:55:00 PM  

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