You want me to do WHAT?
So, I spent time with my mentor (for the first time) last week.
Thoughts running through my head. So. Many. Thoughts.
By way of background, I should tell you that we don't know a whole lot about each other. We've been in Bible studies together, where we get to listen to the other talk about how God is teaching us through different situations. That's about it.
During our recent time together, we started talking about ministry. Mine, specifically. She asked me a few questions which puzzled me, like "what are you afraid of?" and "why are you getting side tracked by little things instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing?"
I found those questions odd because, as I said, she doesn't really know what I am doing or not doing. So, I asked her, "what am I supposed to be doing?"
Her response, "I don't know."
Hmmmm.
I wondered if she was giving me a hard time. But then she said something wild. Crazy. Amazing. When I told Paul and Helen (my best friend) about it, they both responded with something akin to "wow."
Here's the "wow:"
After throwing me the puzzling questions, this is what my mentor said, "I am getting a sense that I need to ask you what you are ***ing for God?"
Where I typed *** she said something very specific that several people (Paul and Helen included) have said I "should" do, because they think I am good at it. I've always shrugged it off because I figured that your husband and your friends could be expected to say such things. Not to mention the fact that it seems like there are already plenty of people who do this thing just fine - much better than I, in fact - so I figured I'd leave it to them. It's not that I think I am bad at it - when I give it some serious effort, I am pretty good - it's just that I never thought there was anything worth pursuing in this area.
So, how crazy is it that my mentor, who has never seen nor heard tell of me doing this thing, asks me about it, specifically?
I've been talking with God ever since then. Throwing him little one-liners throughout my day like "what do you want me to DO?" and "who is it for?" and "where do I start?"
And I am just as confused as ever. But Paul and I discussed it again the other night. At length. And I am pretty convinced I need to pursue this. But I am at a total loss as to where or how to begin.
Have I been sufficiently cryptic for you? Mmmm. Believe me when I say that I am more confused than anyone.
Thoughts running through my head. So. Many. Thoughts.
By way of background, I should tell you that we don't know a whole lot about each other. We've been in Bible studies together, where we get to listen to the other talk about how God is teaching us through different situations. That's about it.
During our recent time together, we started talking about ministry. Mine, specifically. She asked me a few questions which puzzled me, like "what are you afraid of?" and "why are you getting side tracked by little things instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing?"
I found those questions odd because, as I said, she doesn't really know what I am doing or not doing. So, I asked her, "what am I supposed to be doing?"
Her response, "I don't know."
Hmmmm.
I wondered if she was giving me a hard time. But then she said something wild. Crazy. Amazing. When I told Paul and Helen (my best friend) about it, they both responded with something akin to "wow."
Here's the "wow:"
After throwing me the puzzling questions, this is what my mentor said, "I am getting a sense that I need to ask you what you are ***ing for God?"
Where I typed *** she said something very specific that several people (Paul and Helen included) have said I "should" do, because they think I am good at it. I've always shrugged it off because I figured that your husband and your friends could be expected to say such things. Not to mention the fact that it seems like there are already plenty of people who do this thing just fine - much better than I, in fact - so I figured I'd leave it to them. It's not that I think I am bad at it - when I give it some serious effort, I am pretty good - it's just that I never thought there was anything worth pursuing in this area.
So, how crazy is it that my mentor, who has never seen nor heard tell of me doing this thing, asks me about it, specifically?
I've been talking with God ever since then. Throwing him little one-liners throughout my day like "what do you want me to DO?" and "who is it for?" and "where do I start?"
And I am just as confused as ever. But Paul and I discussed it again the other night. At length. And I am pretty convinced I need to pursue this. But I am at a total loss as to where or how to begin.
Have I been sufficiently cryptic for you? Mmmm. Believe me when I say that I am more confused than anyone.
Labels: Faith
posted by 
at 3:22 PM
5 Comments:
Well whatever it is, God knows so I can still pray about it. That's one of those Holy Spirit spoken prayers that says what I can't say prayers that I love so much.
At first glance, I thought it was some kind of cuss word - you know, the astericks and all... But if you're praying that God will help you do whatever it is you're asking to do, then it can't be that.
It's pogosticking, isn't it? You know I got the same feeling the first time you wrote me, I thought "This woman would be an amazing pogosticker."
I know, I know, you stand in amazement at my powers. It's a gift.
Seriously, I don't know what to think. Mysterious.
I hate it when God does that. He did it wiht me recently nad yet I too STILL don't know what is that I should actually be DOING!
Ooh-I think I know what it is. I wish someone or several someones would encourage me in that area. Or I could be wrong. It does sound like God is speaking to you and those around you about you doing that thing.
The other day my mom and I went into Quizno's to get lunch for the family. While there, I struck up a conversation with the mgr about the salads and how they look better in the picture than they used to. He was so sure they had gotten significantly better that he offered to make me a free one. Meanwhile, the other girl had already started on my order before I could stop her. The manager told her to just go ahead and make it. Salad and sandwich, I was stoked.
As we were leaving a woman approached me and asked for a dollar. I asked her what for. She said she was unable to work for xyz reason and was just hungry. I figured if God had seen fit to make sure I had an extra meal, it must have been for her. So I gave her the extra sandwich. (Actually, I accidentally gave her Terry's, but I digress.)
The point? Yes there is one! God is sometimes very obvious. Pursue it.
Post a Comment
<< Home