Thursday, December 09, 2004

Today I feel thankful, and happy.

I am thankful that most of my Christmas shopping is done. I am thankful that I will get some time BY MYSELF to work on the rest of the shopping tonight… and that the time comes on a week night, when stores won’t be so crowded! I am thankful that, in the cabinets/refrigerator, I have about 6 really obvious options for dinners. (I am usually doing well to have one!) But, today is definite pea soup weather, so I think that is what I will make. And, I am thankful for “soup days:” cold outside, but warm inside.

I am also thankful for the handmade Christmas decorations that the kids seem to be making at every turn. For whatever reason, we haven't gotten much of it in years past. But already, Mr. Bug and Ms. Boo have made about 10 items. One is a wreath made of about 20 cut-outs of Bug's hands. Another is a foam wreath with a GOOD picture of Boo in the middle. I just love the stuff they make... glued sloppy and cut crooked. I am writing dates on the back of all of them so I can look at them when I am 80 and remember my babies! I have been waiting for this stuff! Now that I have them, I have proudly displayed them all over the house.

I wrapped the kids’ presents last night. It was fun just to think of them opening them. I can’t wait! I think that got me in the Christmas spirit, because now I am getting the urge to bake all sorts of cookies that I don’t even have a reason to bake. I really enjoy baking when I can do it uninterrupted. That means early-morning or late-night. Hmmm, which do you think I will choose?

I was really hoping to get a quilt done for a Christmas present. I don’t think that is going to happen, but even the thought of sitting at my machine gets me excited. I just don’t think I am happier than when I am making something.

I am also going completely looney trying to find Chinese ornaments and gifts for Ms. Bao. The tradition in our house is to celebrate our babies’ first Christmases. For Boo and Bug, that meant celebrating when I was still pregnant with them. For Bao it means remembering her with a few gifts and wishing she was already with us to open them herself. I don’t want to get her all Chinese stuff, and I think Boo will want to pick out a toy for her. But, I am finding it hard to decide what Chinese things I will get, because I like so much of it.

I am also strangely excited about the future. I get this way sometimes. I like developing new skills and thinking about how they might be used in the future. Sometimes I just think, “I could do anything!” Then I wonder about what it would be.

In light of this, I did something that my sister did a few months ago. I sent an email to people that know me well, asking them to tell me what they think I am or would be good at. Some of the responses are interesting. And, although I don’t necessarily WANT to do some of those things, it is an eye-opener. It makes me think of my wedding dress…

I didn’t like my wedding dress. I bought it in a rush (long story, there) and it was fine, but it wasn’t “me.” For a long time after my wedding, I would hate going to weddings simply because I didn’t want to see a dress that I liked better than my own. (Extremely lame, I know.) But it occurred to me somewhere along the way that I probably never would have even tried on a lot of the dresses that I liked. (It seems odd, I know, but it is true.) I had it in my mind what I wanted, and I guess I ended up with tunnel vision, so to speak. Perhaps if I had asked someone to pick out a dress or two for me to try on, maybe I would have been pleasantly surprised with how I looked in what they picked.

Anyway, the wedding dress was a lesson that I am trying to apply in some other ways. Hence, the e-mail. I may not end up liking the ideas that people suggest. But, it sure is fun trying them on and looking at myself in a different light for a little while. And, who knows, I might end up liking one of their suggestions. Maybe this time I’ll end up buying the perfect dress!

Are you getting tired of my rambling?

Me too.


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