Thursday, June 24, 2004

Vocabulary Lesson

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar pur pet u AY shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. CAMOUFLUSH (KAM o flush) n. The unnecessary flushing of a public restroom toilet to mask embarrassing bodily sounds.

4. DISCONFECT (dis kon FEKT) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (sucker) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.

5. ELBONICS (el BON iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest at a movie theater.

6. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

7. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu LAY shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one must resort to using the "illegal" side.

8. PEPPIER (peph ee AY) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

9. PHONESIA (fo NEE zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting who you were calling just as they answer.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin AY shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you are only six inches away.

These and many others can be found at

Just for the record, I have done #s 2, 3, 5, and 9, and I do #10 all the time!



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