Top Ten Signs your Computer is About to Bite the Dust
10. In the middle of typing an innocent e-mail, menu windows that you never accessed start opening. (And something you're typing inevitably commands the menu to start carrying out some unknown task.)
9. Four and a half years old and its Windows software has never once been updated.
8. Norton Antivirus decides to turn itself on and you can just about forget about getting anything done.
7. You type an a-mail to a group of people and hit send. You receive a mail delivery failure notice before your next screen has even loaded.
6. You want to IM and surf at the same time. Your computer laughs at you.
5. You get up in the middle of some work at the computer and come back to see that your screen saver has kicked on. Just for fun, you jiggle the mouse and then decide you are going to see how long it takes for the computer to completely restore the screen. 45 seconds.
4. People who come over to your house hate using your computer because even their Tandy 1000 is faster.
3. Occasionally, while typing a post for your blog, you get through an entire sentence without any new words appearing on your screen. You wait around for a minute or two, and they slowly but surely appear.
2. The last few times you have tried to print, the print monitor says the job is "in progress," but nothing actually comes out of your printer.
1. The CPU is constantly making this rattling noise, as if to say, "I think I can, I think I can!"
9. Four and a half years old and its Windows software has never once been updated.
8. Norton Antivirus decides to turn itself on and you can just about forget about getting anything done.
7. You type an a-mail to a group of people and hit send. You receive a mail delivery failure notice before your next screen has even loaded.
6. You want to IM and surf at the same time. Your computer laughs at you.
5. You get up in the middle of some work at the computer and come back to see that your screen saver has kicked on. Just for fun, you jiggle the mouse and then decide you are going to see how long it takes for the computer to completely restore the screen. 45 seconds.
4. People who come over to your house hate using your computer because even their Tandy 1000 is faster.
3. Occasionally, while typing a post for your blog, you get through an entire sentence without any new words appearing on your screen. You wait around for a minute or two, and they slowly but surely appear.
2. The last few times you have tried to print, the print monitor says the job is "in progress," but nothing actually comes out of your printer.
1. The CPU is constantly making this rattling noise, as if to say, "I think I can, I think I can!"
Labels: (Stupid) Technology
posted by 
at 9:45 PM
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