Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Annoyed Lady

I am a really good Annoyed Lady. I get annoyed easily. I have been slowly learning to let things go that once annoyed me. But the list is long, and I am still learning.

A few circumstances that might herald the arrival of Annoyed Lady are:

- the repeated use of the same joke every time you see a certain person. Especially if that is the only thing you ever say to that person. You don't have to do this to me. Just hearing it happen to someone else annoys me.

- repetitive noises like car alarms or noisy toys that start a sound over again every time a kid pushes a button. So, you get a little kid like Bethany, or even some easily amused adults, who push the button over and over, and all you hear is "to infinity, to infinity, to infin, to infin, to in, to in, to in, to, to, to..." AAAAARGH!

- Being told to smile.

But, the all time most annoying thing is bad grammar/usage in programs, signs, advertisements, etc.

Several years ago I got a letter in the mail offering me a credit card that would help me celebrate my Italian heritage. I don't know how a credit card can do this, but this one could.

The only reason I read the letter was because I was intrigued at the connection someone had made between my Italian heritage and paying no interest on balance transfers until July of 2023. As I read, I found a glaring grammatical error. I don't recall what it was. But, it didn't matter at that point, even if I WANTED the card, because I was no longer Lori S..., I was now ANNOYED LADY. And the envelope was clearly NOT addressed to her.

I am telling you this story to show you how truly annoyed this makes me... cuz you know what I did? I grabbed a red pen, circled the error, and wrote something about the fact that, though my ancestors were, indeed, Italian, I was familiar enough with the English language to realize that they needed a better copy editor. Then I said something about how, as a general rule, I do not do business with companies that cannot use the English language properly because, for all I knew, they couldn't do math either, and I didn't think that would make for a very reliable credit card company.

I then took the letter, put it in the enclosed envelope, and promptly mailed it.

I am sure you will all be happy to know that a few months later I got another letter from the same company. It was the same offer... to celebrate my Italian heritage by buying stuff on credit. The only difference was, their letter was grammatically flawless.

But I still didn't apply for the card.

I realize this is an issue of pride. God reminds me of this often. Annoyed Lady just needs to learn how to extend some grace.

Just don't make me sing about it. Cuz even that old hymn "Amazing Grace" contains an error too. And don't think for a minute that I can sing that line without thinking of it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This one ranks up there with the all-time classics. I have seen annoyed lady in person and it is not a pretty site (get it)!! The only problem is that annoyed lady is sometimes annoyed at her not so grammatically correct husband. Maybe we can raft it on the rolling tide and smile to get over it. I love you honey.


Wed May 31, 06:40:00 AM  
Blogger Addie said...

Paul at least she hasn't denied you...yet! :)

Lori, you make me smile every time I come here! The fact that you circled the error with a RED PEN. funny. (You can take the teacher out of school, but you can't take the school out of the teacher.)

Wed May 31, 01:03:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I get like that too. Although, as I was reading that post I realized, that I haven't for some time. What is wrong with me?!

Wed May 31, 02:52:00 PM  
Blogger Shalee said...

Lori, you are cracking me up!

Maybe you could get a spot on some comedy show with this bit. (Along the lines of SNL, but not that because I don't watch it and it's on way too late for me!) I'd cheer you on and heckle with the best of them.

BTW, I love the look. I go take a break from blogging for a few days and come back to this! It is really appealing and eye-catching. You did good (with using Heather.)

Wed May 31, 03:34:00 PM  
Blogger aggiejenn said...

Too funny!

Wed May 31, 04:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Cup-a-Joe said...

The best part is that they actually fixed the error. They were 'prolly' embarassed that they had made the mistake. By the way, what do you think of grammatical errors on purpose? You know, "Buy R Chicken?"

Thu Jun 01, 07:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Cup-a-Joe said...

Think Movie Promo Guy Voice:

"In a land before Grammar...
When mistakes are made, she is there...
Coming soon to a Theater near you...
Annoyed Lady!
She's mad as heck, and she's not taking it ANY MORE!!"

Thu Jun 01, 07:22:00 AM  
Blogger PEZmama said...

Errors on purpose: I guess are fine. I just wonder if it kind of desensitizes people, in a way. People who never knew any better might not know that it is actually wrong.

Here is what I am thinking: if it is a name, like "Toys (backward)R Us," then it doesn't bug me so much. But if the mistake is made in order to make an ad rhyme, it bugs me.

Again, thinking about it way too much.

Thu Jun 01, 12:17:00 PM  
Blogger Patti said...

Lori, I feel you're pain. I don't know WHY it's cool to end sentences with "at" now, but it literally drives up nuts. In college I knew a girl who would repeatedly ask "where are you at?" or somoething along those lines. One day I said "Millie, please don't do that. It makes you look uneducated." so she said: (AND I QUOTE) "Fine. Where are you going to be at later?" Ugh.

Thu Jun 01, 02:11:00 PM  
Anonymous favorite sister said...

I despise being told to smile. One of the mgrs at my new place of emply recently told me to smile 4 times in the space of 90 minutes. Harrassing? I finally broke down and told him that only those who are the least happy in themselves need everyone around them to look happy all the time. But I should get out of retail.

I also find my own forgetfulness annoying. Take, for example, that Lainee, Jonathan, and Bethany never get b-day gifts on time. I remember the dates, I just space on getting them wrapped and shipped. Ding-dong. I have recently added extra time pressure to my life because I forgot I had to mail -- realy mail -- loan docs for school.

But I am most annoyed with anti-intellectual society. Americans are particularly notorious for this and that is why I want so badly to leave the country again.

Sat Jun 10, 09:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Tonia said...

First time reader here, and this was hilarious. BTW, I love "Amazing Grace," but I can't sing that line without thinking about the grammar, either. In fact, if I'm singing by myself, I have been known to sing it grammatically. Not that I'm picky, or anything....

Tue Jun 13, 06:09:00 PM  

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