Because, In this Day and Age, Wise Marketing Deserves Special Recognition

I was wandering around Sears on this, the official sixth day of Summer '07, when I happened upon a clothing rack, upon which was a sign proclaiming:

End of Summer Clearance 33% Off

Indeed.

Whatcha Gonna do When They Come for You?

Ms. Boo is going through a phase. Every time she sees a policeman, she asks what he is doing. Every time she sees a police cruiser, she asks why it's there. The sight of anything even remotely related to law enforcement (mall security...) often ushers in a slew of questions about going to jail, getting arrested, and what behaviors are "against the law."

She came in the house one day, sobbing, because the neighbor girl had joked that Boo was going to be arrested.

Good gracious. The girl is afraid she's going to do something that lands her in jail.

I wasn't thinking much about this phase when I started making dinner on Tuesday night. Chicken, rice, applesauce. The kids asked what I was making and, when I told them, I immediately heard two responses. Mr. Bug said, "I love rice." Ms. Boo said, "I don't like rice."

To which I thought: I know and I know. Respectively.

So, when dinner time came, I offered to put some of the sauce from the chicken on the rice for Boo, telling her it might taste better that way. Then, I went on with dinner without paying much attention to what she was eating.

Near the end of dinner, I asked her if she tried the rice. Her reply: Yes. Then I asked if she liked it. Her reply: No.

And I was fine with that. She walked over to the trash can to scrape the scraps (and the pile of rice) into the garbage. It was then that the questions began again. I didn't think much of it, as it is really commonplace now.

Boo: Mom, is it against the law to tell a lie?
Me: Well, it's against God's Law to lie. But not all lies are against the government's law.
Boo: What kind of lies are against the law?
Me: Uhh, (thinking....) if you lie about how much money you make so that you don't have to pay taxes, that is against the law.
Boo: What other lies can make you go to jail?
Me: (tired, and still totally clueless) I don't know, Boo. If you are worried that you are going to go to jail, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Boo: Mom, can you go to jail for saying that you ate rice when you really didn't?

I almost bust a gut laughing, but I held it in and calmly asked her, "did you just lie to me about eating that rice?"

She looked at me with this expression that said How on earth did you figure that out?

Seriously.

Actual Comment

Me, Today:

"I think the baby's leg is in the yellow bag."

Remind me, again, what planet I'm on...

So, today was one of "those" days. I will not go into all of the details.

But I will share with you this conversation that took place between me and Mr. Bug:

Me: Son, why do you have wet washcloths on your head?

Bug: We're having a wedding, mom.


I have no words. None.

Actual Comment:

"I am not looking for that head. If you find it, I will try to glue it back on."

Sometimes, I wonder if I am living on the same planet as the rest of the human race.

State Capital Wanna-bes

My husband teaches keyboarding to eighth graders. As a way to practice technique, he will sometimes give them a "list" assignment. He gives them a topic and the kids type as many things as they can think of to put on the list in the allotted time.

This week, it was state capitals.

Here is a compilation of some of the answers he saw:

Dallas
Chicago
New York City
Los Angeles
Washington D.C.

and my personal favorite: Cleveland.

If you don't get why that is so funny, let me remind you that we live in Ohio.

Hmmm, maybe I should hook them up with a link to the "Could you pass eighth grade social studies" quiz.

But, I have a sneaking suspicion that I already know how they'd do.

Desperate Houseplants?!?!?!

I recently saw a segment of Sesame Street entitled "Desperate Houseplants" that, honestly, gave me the heebie jeebies.

In it, these two houseplants are sitting in the window lamenting the lack of care they have endured. They say stuff like, "If only someone would water us..."

Then the gardener walks by. And they say something like "Oh, the gardener! He really knows what a plant needs." Then the gardener waters them and I am thinking (and hoping my memory serves me correctly) that one of the plants says "oh, that feels so good."

Has anyone seen it? Maybe it is just me overreacting. Or maybe it was the title that made me imagine there was some innuendo that was never intended. But it just grossed me out to see that on a little kids' show.

Dudes, this is awesome!

I am at the library.

The computer here is fast.

There are no children with me pulling books off the shelf.

I can browse all I want without being interrupted.

When I checked into my room I used the bathroom - and I left the door open. No one came in with me! HOW COOL IS THAT?

I even found a new scrapbooking store right near the hotel and they have 20 sheets of cardstock on sale for $1.

My hair even looks good.

It's like I'm on a different planet.

Everything AND the kitchen sink

Actual conversation at the McDonald's drive-thru:

DT: AAAAAAAARGH! (In a raspy voice-) Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?
Me: Uh, yeah. I'd like an Oreo McFlurry.
long pause
DT: AAAAAAAARGH! (In a raspy voice-) I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please?
Me: I'd like and Oreo McFlurry.
DT: AAAAAAAARGH! (In a raspy voice-) That'll be $1.90 a the first little window!
Me: Thanks.....Matey.
DT: AAAAAAAARGH!

When I pull around to the "little window," there are two kids standing there. The kid with the headset, who looks like he is about to jump out the window, says, "Are you the one who just called me matey?" When I answer in the affirmative, he turns to his buddy, then back to me. "He didn't believe me!" His buddy just looked at him and says, "Man, if I tried that kind of stuff, people would be reaching through the window to slap me. But you get away with it every time!"

Glad they had some fun.

-------

I felt frantic most of the day yesterday. Part of this is my own fault, and part of it is that there are just a few too many things on my plate. Though there are usually a lot of things to get done, I generally do okay with letting go of stuff that isn't important. But some days I let it get to me. Yesterday was one of those days.

Looking back at it today, I realized that a lot of what happened yesterday could have been avoided with a little bit better planning and organization.

Our house is extremely disorganized. Messy. I am no housekeeper. But it drives me crazy because it gets overwhelming and it needlessly complicates things. So I focused on getting some stuff cleaned up today. Mainly the sink, which was piled with dishes and in need of a major scouring. When I was first introduced to the Fly Lady, I was a little skeptical about her whole shiney sink thing. And, though I think her method of cleaning the sink could be categorized as overkill (and over-chemical, for that matter,) I have realized that when my sink is clean, my kitchen tends to stay much, much cleaner as well. So I knew I had to tackle the sink.

I still had a load of dishes to unload from the dishwasher, and half a sink left to load up, when I had to get dinner started. So, add to my half sink all the dishes from dinner! But I think I can get all the dishes done tomorrow. (And the scouring is already done. Yippee!) My goal: to keep the sink clear until we leave for China. Like I said, the sink really is the heart of it all. So if I can keep it clear, it will be the catalyst for getting other cleaning jobs done.

Also done today - washed two loads of laundry and cleaned the bathroom.

But here is the problem. I didn't spend any good time with the kids today because I was too busy cleaning. As I was cleaning, I was thinking about a post on Robin's blog about having too much to do and not being able to play with the kids. I left a comment for her in which I requested advice about how to balance the housekeeping with time for the kids. Then I thought, maybe I should just ask folks here.

So, here are my questions. Is it possible to have a clean house AND spend quality time with the kids every day? If so, how is that accomplished, short of hiring a maid? Do you schedule your cleaning time and your kid time each day? (Keeping in mind that some kids, especially kids like Boo, get crabby if their moms aren't able to play with them frequently.) What methods have you tried that have helped with cleaning, eliminating clutter, etc. (I am not as interested in knowing what products have worked as much as the methods.) For the sake of spending time with the kids, what things (laundry, dishes, etc.) are you willing to let go and for how long?

I admit that things would likely be easier to maintain once cleaned. (We have not yet reached maintenance status here.) And I realize that I have not developed the habit of neatness. But I am looking for small pieces of practical advice that people have had success with.

This is the real deal

Okay. Just got an e-mail from the agency saying that Bao's travel approval came through from China. The agency contacted the US Consulate for our appointment. They expect to hear back from them by Tuesday, or maybe even tomorrow. TOMORROW! TOMORROW!

We might know, *tomorrow* the date we will meet Ms. Bao.

I read that e-mail and I felt like peeing, puking, and crying all at the same time.

This is no longer mere excitement. I don't know what it is, but it's way past excitement.

HOLY SCHIZOPHRENIA!

In other news: Heather has been around to comment on the old blog again. This can only mean that things aren't TOO crazy around her house. Translation: Warren must be doing okay. So, welcome back Heather. Glad Warren is healing. And glad to hear from you too.

(Edited 9/2: the commenting Heather was not the one I thought it was!)

Actual conversation that took place today:
Bug: Stop looking at me, mom.
Me: (silent. wasn't looking at him and didn't start.)
Bug: Stop looking at me, mom!
Me: (silent. wasn't looking at him and didn't start.)
Bug: STOP LOOKING AT ME, MOM!
Me: I'm not looking at you, Jonathan.
Bug: Why?