Praise

My BFF, Helen, called this evening to tell me that they finally received a referral for the adoption that she (and her husband) started pursuing 2 1/2 years ago.

When I first told Helen that Paul and I were thinking about adopting (in the summer of 2005,) Helen just said "no way!" She and her husband were thinking about the same thing - had already started looking at agencies, as a matter of fact. So, once I'd told her what we were thinking about, she told me, "we are going to adopt too!"

That was 2 1/2 years ago. Our adopted daughter has been home for over a year. Helen and Jeff just got their referral.

If the situation wasn't so odd, I'd blame the whole thing on Helen, who likes to let me undergo major life changes first. This way she can watch me royally screw them up, then learn from my mistakes (all the while offering sage advice to me.)

But, her situation is too crazy for her to have purposed. They began their process wanting a child from Sierra Leone. Things went crazy there, and adoptive families just aren't getting children from that country with any degree of certainty. So they decided to adopt from Ukraine, which several months later put their whole system under a massive overhaul and hasn't really been getting kids into families since.

Their new choice of country, Ethiopia, required them to apply with a new agency. Which means new paperwork (in addition to renewing things like fingerprints which had, by this time, expired in the eyes of the Department of Homeland Security. How, exactly, can one's fingerprints expire? I don't know, but they can in the Department of Homeland Security.)

All the while, Helen was concerned about the spacing of their children. She wanted the child to be close in age to her daughter. She was discouraged because, as more time passed, this seemed less and less likely.

But they got pictures of their sons today. Yes, sons. A. turned two in October. B. will be one in January. The two of them are 15 months apart. A. is 17 months younger than Helen's daughter.

There was never any guarantee that they would be able to get siblings, but that was what Helen really, REALLY wanted. They got them - and they are spaced just like she had wished.

I am so thrilled for them. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Heather

Heather was my best friend in junior high and high school. We went to Catholic school together. By the 8th grade, we were pretty tight. When we left St. Joe's, Heather went to the Catholic high school, and I went public, so to speak. Despite going to different schools, we were best friends all through high school.

Heather rocked like cooling lava. She was hippie, I was preppie. She introduced me to Woody and Arlo, I introduced her to uh... I don't know if I introduced her to anything... my crazy obsession with all things "West Point" perhaps.

Among my favorite memories of times with Heather were the long walks we took around her neighborhood. We would just walk and talk (about anything and everything.) It was a tradition we started back in the 7th grade when we would walk around the playground at recess, talking. There are two specific memories I have of those playground talks - one was discussing the bombing of Libya, the other was trying to get up enough nerve to say hello to Brian, whom we would pass by six or seven times while he played outfield in the 8th grade baseball games.

Then there was Carmen Sandiego. Heather and I could play "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" until the wee hours of the morning. My geography is still terrible, but at least we had fun.

And I cannot forget Dave Barry. Heather got a book of his and we spent an entire weekend reading chapters to each other, laughing our heads off. I even remember reading one chapter to her parents too, as we travelled to one of those Yale football games that they would invite me to. I always got to go with them when Yale played Army. On brave old Army team....

Another trip of note that I took with her family was to Vermont. It was on that trip that Heather introduced me to Skip-bo... the greatest card game on the planet. And, on one of our "talk walks" I saw a meteor for the very first time. We were completely psyched.

Heather and I frequently reverted to junior high behavior. Even in our college years, we fondly recalled the time that we fingerpainted with ice cream all over the island in her kitchen. We called each other things like "girlie, girl," and made up noises to identify the degree of cuteness of males who walked by. I swear we made up a word that was supposed to mean something specific, but I can't remember what it was. We later found out that it really was a word, and the real definition was not nearly as good as ours was.

But, perhaps the most "junior high" of all our endeavors was the PFHEA. The PFHEA was Heather's brain-child. PFHEA stood for "The People for Human Excretions Association." I think it came about after a long brainstorming session in which we tried to think of all the words for "puke" that we could. Her dad even contributed (with a word, not by actually puking.) It grew from there. We made no distinction between excretions and secretions. Probably because we just wanted a reason to talk about as much gross stuff as we could. But puke was, by far, our favorite. And Heather was great with words.

Heather was an actress too. She knew all about Broadway and such, and had regular parts in productions put on by a local Parks and Rec. Department. I'd go see her whenever I could, and got to know most of her fellow actors pretty well. We both took our turns swooning over Jim, whom I though looked just like the guy who played Gilbert in the Anne of Green Gables series.

Heather's love of Broadway even won me some clout in the ninth grade. At the time, she was into "A Chorus Line" and she was always listening to the original cast recording. So, I had to get my cassette too. And, of course, I memorized every word. I never thought that my knowledge of the musical would serve any purpose. But, my teacher in Early World Civ. that year (Mr. Goodrich) decided one day that we would play some sort of trivia game. The question I got was "what actress sang Nothing in the original cast of A Chorus Line?" Of course no one thought I could possibly know this. But I did, and they were all quite impressed. (BTW, the answer is Priscilla Lopez... and that was only my favorite song on the entire cassette.)

We decided that our graduation present to each other would be a ticket to see A Chorus Line and spending the day in the city. Alas, the longest running musical had to close some time, and it did before we graduated.

More than Heather rocked, Heather was smart. Way smarter than me. She got into Cornell. She didn't go, but she got in... something I never could have done. I remember the evening that we went out to see "Worth Winning." We had both taken the SAT that morning (at our respective schools) and we were comparing notes. I was telling her all the words I got stuck on... meaning I'd never heard them before.... One of them was "vapid." I told her what I answered. She said she answered something different. I figured she was right, but she acted like she wasn't sure. Then one of the characters in the movie actaully used the word VAPID. From the context, we figured that she had, indeed, gotten it right. To this day, I wonder if she knew all along what that word meant and was just trying to be nice to me.

Of course no other movie experience with Heather was more memorable than "When Harry Met Sally." I remember Heather commenting about something that Meg Ryan was wearing. It was a white turtleneck, a pair of jeans, and penny loafers. Heather's comment was that her outfit was "so classy." (Perhaps Heather was a closet preppie.) But it stuck with me... I don't know why. Anyone who knows me today knows that I FREQUENTLY wear a white turtleneck and, up until getting pregnant with Lainee, I wore penny loafers all the time. Every time I wear them, I think of Meg Ryan, "When Harry Met Sally," and Heather.

I remember the night before Heather left for college. I went to visit her. It seemed strange. Of course, once we left for college we were never as close as we were during high school. I left her house feeling like it was the beginning of the end. Needless to say, that stunk.

Heather and I would chat once in a while during the college years. But, as is often the case, we were too far away and our experiences were too different to really maintain the level of friendship we had. All I know of Heather after college is that she worked in an art museum in England, in NYC as an administrative assistant, as a college admissions counselor in PA, and is now a high school guidance counselor.

I got her Christmas card yesterday and have been reminiscing ever since. In their lifetime, everyone should have a friend like Heather was to me.

Tonight, I think I will have to dig out that old "A Chorus Line" cassette and listen to it again. The words "One singular sensation" will have new meaning.

Today

was the day of sickness at our house. Mr. Bug has been sick since last Tuesday with a fever. His temp was below normal tonight, so perhaps he is finished. But Ms. Boo came down with the fever on Saturday, followed by me yesterday. Paul stayed home from work today to help me out and I think he had a fever too. Of course he said he didn't, but he figures you only have a fever if the thermometer says so. So, he just doesn't take his temperature, and then he can say he doesn't have a fever.

Anyway, we were about the sorriest looking lot of folks today. Pillows and blankets everywhere to accomodate our frequent naps. No cleaning up whatsoever. All of us in our jammies all day long.

So, you can imagine our reluctance to open the door when 3 of the folks from our Sunday school class came over carolling in front of our house. We were supposed to be carolling with them, but obviously we bowed out. They came in and visited for a while. It was nice to see some new faces. Bug, who has got to have major cabin fever, was ecstatic. And, since the group was comprised of at least two of Boo's most favorite people in the world, she was off the wall.

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I got a Christmas card from my best friend in high school. It was so great to hear from her... we haven't talked since before I got married. More on Heather in another post.

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A conversation that I had with Boo today went like this:

Boo: Mom, I have a yellow pony tail [holder] with flowers on it that can be an earring.
Me: (spotting said holder around her wrist, I point to it) You mean this one?
Boo: Yeah!
Me: it's an earring?
Boo: yeah, look. (puts the holder on her ear)
Me: Well, look at that!
Boo: I CAN'T, MOM! See, (turns her head toward the holder-laden ear) when I turn my head, it doesn't work!

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A conversation that Paul had with Boo today went like this:

Paul at the computer, Boo on his lap. Boo sees a guy in a banner ad:
Boo: (pointing to the ad) is that John Kerry?
P: No. Do you know who John Kerry is?
Boo: he is the guy with a lot of hair.

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So, we were all sick today, but at least there were some smiles.

And Now for Another Installment of "What I Like About"

What I like about Shelby

1. She is great at encouraging people
2. She knows how to ask the questions that get to the heart of what you are thinking
3. She listens
4. She doesn't consider herself above anyone
5. She can engage anyone in conversation (which is probably because of #s 1-4.)
6. Funny. She's stinkin' funny
7. Shelby is creative, artistic
8. She writes letters to me!
9. She has a great little giggle
10. She IMs with me*
11. I am pretty sure I could say just about anything to Shelby (and have) without fear of rejection
12. She dresses cool. Seriously, she has a style all her own and she wears it well.
13. Sometimes when she is talking, she will put her thumb on her chin while resting her index finger on her nose. It usually means she is being facetious.
14. She has been known to play with my hair, and I love that.
15. Shelby is one of my two "death-bed" friends. One of those people I'd want by my side if I were dying. I swear that if that really happens, there is an extremely high probability that I will literally die laughing.
16. Shelby was instrumental in me coming to know Christ.
17. She has great hair*
18. Shelby cares about social injustice enough to do something about it.
19. She is a faithful friend.
20. She is the world's most prolific user of the word "hilarious."

* I know these are repeats from the list about Maureen, but what can I say, I like some of the same things in different people!

Special Memories with Special People

w/ Paul: the Yankees/Indians game during the ALCS; exchanging love letters, the day we got married; our childrens' births.

w/ mom: when I colored and cut out a picture of a clown in 1st grade. I took extra care to cut it out well. When I brought it home, mom said "did you cut this out?" and proceeded to tell me what a great job I did

w/ dad: Farm Shop sundaes, tickle fights, and the college trip to Pittsburgh

w/ Helen: our trip to St. Louis; my wedding; her wedding; the bad play that we saw the summer after we graduated and laughing uncontrollably when we go back home; Thursdays at Fazoli's

w/ Shelby: discussing as we walked home from movie nights in Bayley; walking home in the rain; the library typewriter; singing "McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut" as we walked to the College Life meeting; making up a rap about a drunk guy

w/ God: the summer of '94 at Penn State. When he was more real to me than he had ever been up to that point.

w/ Shelah: a walk during my senior year when she encouraged me that my desire to serve God counts, even if I felt like I was failing.

w/ Heather: (my best friend in high school) finger painting with ice cream on the kitchen counter; making brownies; long walks where we could say whatever we wanted and know that it was okay

Every so often, I would like to do a "What I like about" post regarding different people in my life. I have decided to start today with Maureen, because she is going to stop reading this if I don't say something about her. Despite the fact that she is trying to hijack my blog, all of the following is true:

What I like about Maureen

1. she is hilariously funny
2. she is so different from me... and I find it refreshing to hear her perspective
3. she is insightful and wise (wait, that's two)
4. she is insightful and wise
5. she is the most out-of-the-box thinker I know. Since I have zero ability to think out of the box, I really like this about her, but I think I like it more that she doesn't just think that way, she lives that way.
6. she scares me. it's not like she's ugly or anything (in fact she bears striking resemblance to Marilyn Monroe.) She scares me because of #2 & #5 and because of that, I find that her life challenges me in ways that no one else's does.
7. she makes me want to be a better Christian
8. she ministers grace to me
9. ain't no pretense when you are around Maureen
10. she wants to love even (or especially?) the people that are unlovely
11. she IMs with me
12. this may be lame-o, but it is true: she has fantastic hair
13. Maureen is more concerned about living out God's purpose than she is about having things or "success" as the world sees it.
15. she reads a lot
16. she has a great vocabulary. it's like street lingo meets college prof.
17. conversations with Maureen are awesome
18. little things are not lost on her
19. she knows how to be thankful even when life is stinky
20. she knows the only person she can change is herself. and she does.

Yes, it is official. I love Maureen. And I am thankful that we are back in touch.