Blahgging

Here is the blogging meme that has been posted by Chilihead at Don't Try This at Home. Click this link if you would like to read others who have answered the same questions.

How did you start blogging?
I started blogging not too long after my friend Maureen sent all of her friends an e-mail telling us of her blog. She said something like "I wanted you all to know that I have a weblog." I wish I was kidding when I say this, but my immediate thought was A weblog? Is it serious? Is it fatal?

Then she went on to explain what it was, and I felt really stupid. I read her blog every day after that and eventually decided that I would start one of my own.

Did you intend to be a blog with a following? If so, how did you go about it?
I have never sought out a following for my blog. I don't participate in many carnivals or take many opportunities to promote my blog. I am not against a larger readership, but what I really want is readers who participate - people who are willing to share their thoughts and get to know me (and I them.) Aside from the fact that this is hard to do with a large number of people, my experience has been that the majority of people just don't want to participate in this way. So I am not actively seeking tons of readers - I'd rather have a few readers who talk back to me than a thousand who never say a word.

What do you hope to achieve or accomplish with your blog? Have you been successful? If not, do you have a plan to achieve those goals?
I have never clearly defined a goal for my blog and I'm not sure that I could. I often feel conflicted about what I want to accomplish through my blogging.

Recently I have had a desire to encourage deeper thinking on some harder issues, particularly as they relate to the Christian worldview. But these are the very issues which garner the least discussion (in my experience) and discussion is a big reason that I blog in the first place. Also a serious debate in my mind right now is whether putting those ideas out there "for the whole world to see" is as effective as addressing those things within my own, real world, sphere of influence. Add to this some uncertainty about what qualifies me to speak to these issues, and you have one PEZmama with a whole lot of bloggy angst.

That being said, I also have a great desire make people laugh, both in real life and on the blog. Unfortunately, I don't always have the verbal skillz that are required to finely craft the humorous post. I do think I make people laugh as a commenter though, but sometimes it's hard to tell if I am even doing that.

As for a plan, I don't know. I have seriously considered the plan called "stop blogging." (No comments, please.) I say this because, again, I am wondering if this medium is as effective as addressing people personally. Plus, being able to hear someone laugh or sitting down and having a real conversation are always so much more rewarding. Selfish, perhaps, but true.

Has the focus of your blog changed since you started blogging? How?
Absolutely.

Honestly, I think I started my blog because I was looking for validation from others who would say "you are so funny" or "you are so smart." (I didn't know it at the time, but when I started blogging, I was in the midst of a bout with depression that was going to get worse before it got better.) The validation really didn't come, so it was a hard time blog-wise because I wasn't really getting what I wanted out of it (and I shouldn't have) yet I kept trying. Eventually I got so sick of it that I took a very long break. (Quit is more like it. I had no intention of returning.)

When I came back from the break, my blogging perspective had changed. I began treatment for my depression soon after and I think that my perspective continued to change until I found the "voice" that I'm developing now. This voice is a much better reflection of the real me, and it's the voice that talks a little more about those deeper issues I mentioned above.

What do you know now that you wish you'd known when you started?
How to use the period correctly.

My thoughts kept trailing......

But bloggers in the know are So. Much. Cooler.

Do you make money with your blog?
The last time I made money was when they paid me ten dollars for reporting to jury duty.

In 2001.

Does your immediate or extended family know about your blog? If so, do they read it? If not, why?
From my immediate family, my mom reads consistently and my husband has read it all (I think.) My sisters have stopped by a few times. I think my sister-in-law and a neice and nephew read sporadically.

As for "why?" I can't speak to that other than to say that my mom likes to see pictures of her grandchildren. I'll never know why more people don't consistently read this blog. It's funny, it's challenging, and it has PEZ dispensers. Who wouldn't want to read that?

What two pieces of advice would you give to a new blogger?
I offer this bit of advice, learned from admittedly painful experience, to the one other person in the universe who would do this: Blogs are not a good replacement for three-dimensional people. You can make friends as a blogger, but it can be difficult and sometimes impossible (especially if you want to be friends with MEGAblogger who has 500 other readers who also want to be her friend. And sometimes even the minibloggers just aren't up for starting new online friendships.) If your primary goal is to start a friendship, you might have a better chance if you go find a real life person and spend some time with them.

And this piece of advice, learned from a bit of serendipity, to anyone who wants to increase traffic on their blog: Quote Toto lyrics.

Ever since my Africa post, I think I show up daily on search results for lyrics to that song. Better yet, you might want to try slighly MISquoting the lyrics, because I get even more hits from people searching for the phrase "there is nothing 100 men on mars could not do."

I'm serious. Look.

Then again, I also show up in search results for "how to make an oreo McFlurry at home," so, maybe this advice is not for you after all.

Unless "clueless people" is, like, your target audience.

For real....

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I just wrote a post that has gone the way of most of my posts of late: unpublished.

I probably wrote ten paragraphs. And deleted six.

All of it to say: I am in a slump.

Weighty things are being processed in my head. I want to write about them, but I wonder if I have any "platform" for doing so. I wonder if it is wise for me to put those thoughts out here right now.

Nothing controversial, I don't think. Just.... well, weighty.

I'm not a "theme" blogger. No one who reads this knows what they are going to get when they click over here. But there are other blogs out there where "Advice and Wisdom" is dispensed regularly and deemed meaningful and applicable by all manner of readers. I don't necessarily want to have one of those blogs, but I am wondering how those bloggers get their voice, so to speak. How do they get an audience of readers who really value whatever it is they decide to say?

When God is teaching you things, how do you know when you have grasped them fully enough to speak with some degree of authority about those things? How do you know if the things God is teaching you are for you alone, or if they have application for other people?

This post not withstanding, I have this notion that I'd like my blog to be a little bit less about processing thoughts, and a little more about laying out some thoughts that have already been processed and promoted to convictions. How do you write about those things without sounding self-righteous? Do you write about them at all?

Tell Me How That Makes You Feel...

Oh, my word. I haven't posted anything of consequence in quite a while, but I feel as though I have been blogging nonstop. Most of my time has been taken up by the Blog Party. The last I checked, there were over 800 participants. Just for the record, I do not intend to visit all 800 of those blogs. I like blogging, but not that much.

The rest of my time has been spent e-mailing other bloggers. If you have been reading me for any length of time, you know that I am in this blogging thing to talk to people, exchange ideas, challenge one another's thinking, etc. For me, those things usually take place on a blog. These last two weeks, however, seem to have been banner weeks for communicating with my bloggy cohorts via e-mail. So I am blogging, just not on my blog. (Is there a term for that?)

And this would be the point in the post where I would consider giving a shout out, a thank you, or an introduction to those bloggers I have been conversing with, but I wonder if I should.

So I am going to ask you all. Do you ever feel insignificant, dismissed, left out etc. when you are reading a blog and/or comment in which the author writes about personal communication she has had with another blogger?

All this "off-blog" communication is unusual for me. Maybe you all communicate frequently with other bloggers, and I am just out of the loop. But I will admit that reading that kind of stuff on someone else's blog tends to make me feel like the junior high kid who didn't get invited to the party.

So, what do you think?

My blog personality

I have been thinking, over the last two weeks in particular, about my blog personality. What I want from blogging, and what I don't. What I like to read, and what turns me off. My likes and dislikes regarding commenting, blogrolls, and, well, all things bloggy. Here, my friends, are my thoughts.

Why I blog
To relate. I want to talk with people and I want them to talk to me.

Commenting
In light of my last statement, I don't understand lurking. I could never imagine myself reading someone's blog without commenting (after I get a feel for the person.) I guess I approach this a lot like real life relationships... I don't just want to listen, I want to converse.

SO:
~I almost always comment on a blog.
~I follow comments to see if the author or another reader addressed something I mentioned in my comment.
~I tend not to keep reading blogs where the author never, after repeated comments, responds to anything I have said. (There are exceptions to this.)
~I do NOT comment just for the sake of commenting. I only do it if I have something specific to say, and I really mean it.
~I often find new blogs I like after reading a comment I really like (on my blog or someone else's) and I click on that person's link.

Blogs I read
~Funny ones.
~Blogs that make me think or challenge my current thinking.
~Blogs written by people I feel I can relate to.

Blogs I tend not to read
~Advicey blogs. I have plenty of people in real life that I can ask advice from if I want it.
~Blogs that everybody and their mother read (with a few exceptions.) I guess this is because my blog personality is a lot like my regular personality. If given a choice between a party with lots of people or a quiet gathering with four or five friends, I'd choose the latter every time. I want to be able to discuss with people... big blogs never seem conducive to that.
~Blogs for which the author doesn't seem "real:" doesn't share struggles, admit mistakes, ask for ideas. (Come to think of it, I should hate my own blog...) But a lot of the advice blogs are like that and they never seem to flick my Bic, so to speak.

Thoughts on personally contacting a blog's author
I generally don't do it, even if I have been reading/commenting for a long time. I think it is my shyness. I HAVE done it, generally to encourage another blogger or to ask a specific question from someone I trust. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, I just generally don't do it. (And I think this is the first paragraph I have ever written in which every sentence contains the word "generally.")

Thoughts on blogrolls
I think it is weird to go bloghopping and find my blog on the blogroll of a complete stranger. There is nothing wrong with it. It's just that, going back to why I blog, I could never imagine myself liking a blog where I didn't get in on the discussion.

In addition, I think it is kinda awkward if someone reads me regularly, but I don't read them. I suppose most people have a thicker skin than I do, but I will admit to feeling disappointed when I am not on the blogroll of people whose blogs I frequent. (This is not a plea for anyone to add me to their blogroll.)

I think reciprocal blogrolls are silly. "I'll link you if you link me." I don't want to be on someone's blogroll just because I linked to them. I want to be on their blogroll if they like my blog. (Reciprocal blogrolls are a great way to increase the traffic on your blog. But, since I am not that interested in increasing traffic, I think I'll pass on those.)

My thoughts on memes
I can take them or leave them. People say they help you get to know them, but I wonder about that sometimes. I don't mind doing them, but I don't tag people for them anymore. Reading a meme is a lot like reading an interview. I like interviews, but I prefer hearing someone speak freely.

My thoughts on self-promotion
All bloggers have to be self-promoters to some degree... at least you do if you want to be read. But I am not very good at that. I want to be read, but I don't want to be read by hundreds of people a day (though I don't think there is any danger of that!) So, I tend not to participate in things (like reciprocal blog rolls) that are meant just to bring traffic. (I think the Tour of Homes is the first thing like this that I've done. But I did that because I thought it was for fun, not for the traffic.)

And don't ask me about blog awards. I don't know how to tell you what I think without it sounding bad, so I guess I shouldn't try. (You know I'm just jealous because I've never won one...)

So, there you have it. Some of my thoughts about blogging. Feel free to disagree with anything I have said. And don't take any of this personally. This is just my perspective. I'd be interested in hearing what kind of blogging personality you all have (I'd make this into a meme and tag somebody but, you know...)

Am I some sort of sicko?

Okay, we already know the answer to that, but humor me, okay?

I have recently been presented with two different opportunities to meet fellow bloggers. I won't try to quantify for you the desire that I have to attend. Let's just say it is vastly infinite. You may say that is superfluously redundant. But, you don't know how vast this infinity is.

It doesn't matter, of course, because I don't think I will be able to attend either. Believe you me, I am wracking my brain trying to figure out how I might work one of them out, but I fear it is not to be. And I am disappointed. In a vastly infinite sort of way.

So, I am wondering, Lori, what in the world is wrong with you? And why are you talking to yourself again?

Why does it bother me so much that I cannot attend either of these get-togethers? I mean, who, in their right mind (ah, that may be the problem) actually SEEKS OUT long distance friendships? And once you have them, aren't they hard to maintain?

As I find out who will be attending these things, my reaction is No! SHE is going to be there? I cannot believe it! And then I start manipulating schedules and trying to figure out some way, ANY WAY that I can be there and meet HER! (Teeny-bopper screaming optional.)

Have I filled in too many blanks that the one-dimensional blogging world has left open. Because, in my mind, I am going to die a long slow death if I can't meet some of these women that I HARDLY KNOW!

What group of random people consists only of really cool, likeable people? Surely, there have to be some bloggers who end up being duds when you meet them in person. (The greatest of whom would be me, by the way.) But, I have it in my mind that every single one of these bloggers is a kindred spirit and that SURELY we will walk away from our meeting having established ourselves as secret pinkie sisters (friends for ever, cross my heart and hope to die.)

It all just seems so illogical. And I can't handle bad logic.

But I still wanna meet these bloggers.

Okay. Now you can answer the question.

Spiffy, clever title

I haven't been blogging or reading blogs much lately. I just caught up on the three or four blogs that I *really* like to keep up with. Blogging hasn't been very satisfying lately.

I have come to realize (again) that I expect way too much from this blogging thing. I expect relationship out of it. Really. Quite silly, I know. I wish that I could talk with people in real life about some of the things that I write about here, but I haven't been good at finding people who want to "go there."

So, it kinda weirds me out a little bit when I hear that people I actually know, in real life, read this blog, but have never told me so. Kinda makes me wonder how many times I have told them a story that they have already read about here... and if they are bored with hearing it again.

But no matter, really. It's one of those quirks of blogging. People lurk and that's part of the game. It's just an odd feeling for someone who has such an intense desire to form deep relationships.

That being said, I have to admit that I have been seeking relationship with others to the detriment of my relationship with God. Finding satisfaction in Christ and enjoying his presence are two of the things we studied this week in "Breaking Free." It became very obvious to me that I spend a lot of time on this here computer trying to fill the void of dissatisfaction with life. This dissatisfaction is compounded by the depression I have been dealing with for a while, because it often leaves me without any motivation to change.

I mention depression not as an excuse, but as a point of reference. I don't think I have mentioned it here before, but most people who know me in real life know that I have been dealing with it. I don't feel any shame in it. It's the way it is.

But even now as I renew my focus on Christ, much of what I used to fill my time with before is beginning to lack any luster. I am nowhere near the point of completing this current lesson with God, but I have been enjoying a more committed pursuit of Christ lately. It really does make other things pale in comparison, even, and maybe especially, blogging.

Part of what God is beginning to show me is that I seek after my own glory far too much. I do it in a lot of ways, but often in my blog. I want to be the funniest or the most thought provoking or the most read blogger. It's a tall order, and one that is impossible to fill. And so it feeds the dissatisfaction. It is a "chasing after the wind."

So I am thinking about what I want this blog to be about and what purpose I want it to serve. The only clear thought I have settled on at this point is that I want it glorify Christ, and not me. What that will mean and how that will look, I don't know.

But I am thinking. And learning. And loving Christ a little more than I did a week ago. It is very freeing, and it's what I need.

So, if I don't write for a while, you will know why. I'm just trying to figure a few things out over here!

Not much to say

Well. I haven't felt like posting lately. I have stuff I could post, but haven't really been in the mood. The perfect day was great. Thanksgiving was great. The kids are great. I just don't feel like posting.

But I have been reading others' blogs. So I thought I might post about what I like, and what I don't like in a blog.

What I don't like
- Frequent complaining.
- Mundane, boring drivel about every last detail of the writer's life which serves no purpose other than to inform the reader about every last mundane, boring detail of the writer's life.
- Really bad writing.
- Reading negative stuff about other people that the writer wouldn't actually tell that person in real life.
- Frequent use of links to complete the writer's thought. It bugs me when I can't get the writer's thoughts without going somewhere else.

What I like
- Insight. Two of my favs for this are Maureen and Leslie.
- Reading about the lives of folks going through some of the same things as me. Some of my favorite adoptive mom blogs are grrltravels and Boy Makes Three. Some of my favorite Stay-at-home-mom blogs are written by Robin and Addie.
- Reading about the lives of people who are totally different than me, particularly when it comes to spirituality. I read because it reminds me that the rest of the world doesn't see things through the lens of scripture, and I think it's important to keep in touch with that. Frankly, I think it strengthens my faith - but that probably wouldn't be so for everyone, so I think I'll leave those links out! (I'm sure you could find a few very easily if you wanted to.)
- Reality. As in real life, I like getting to know people who are willing to be honest about their weaknesses - not trying to present themselves as perfect.
- Blogs that offer encouragement, challenge, or insight into the Christian faith. Those mentioned by name above all do that. But I also like Bread Crumbs and Girl Talk.
- Humor.

Maybe you will find a new one you like too.